Greener Ass...Grass

When I was about 4 or 5 years old, I remember walking through the grocery store with my mother and spied "ice cream".  Now to me, it looked like fruity looking ice cream and it was in a neat little cup too. So I begged for it.  I remember too that my mother warned me about having to eat it whether I liked it or not.  Rain on a Rain-X windshield, I was too far beyond comprehending that tidbit, I'd gotten what I wanted.  When we made it to my grandmother's house we asked for our "ice cream".  Now I'm almost positive that  I'd referred to this new treat as "ice cream" in the store.  It wasn't until it was purchased and nearly within my grasp that I actually heard my mother say, "That is not ice cream."  That's when I noticed the sudden interest that my family members had taken in our "ice cream".  We were given spoons but as the containers were opened, I caught the first whiff of something very un-ice cream like.  Despite these many warnings, I dug in.  It took nearly a decade before I ever ate yogurt again.

Now I told that story to say that sometimes we see things just the way we want to despite information to the contrary.  I saw greener grass in that new fruity ice cream so I abandoned what I knew for something new.  This has been an often revisited personality quirk. I've done it with jobs, majors, vehicles, apartments, hair styles, etc.  The time that it is the most annoying quality is when it comes to men.  I'm fond of saying that I always get what I want and then I get what I deserve, that's because this statement is one of the truest things I've ever known.  Well I got the guy...sort of.  I mean that Ass, err, grass was so green!  It was perfect in everyway and no one else was grazing on that patch.  I should have stayed on my side of the pasture.  When I say I pulled tricks, rabbits, and wool just to get to that patch.  I did it all.  And can you believe that I got to the grass!  I wanted the chew it all up but instead I savored it.  I lusted over that ass...grass.  I looked at it's lovliness.  I dreamt of the way it would feel to pluck it gently away from it's root and slowly dine on what had to be the best gr...ass I'd ever seen!  I thought everyone would be jealous of me and my grass but instead they told me that it wasn't as good as it looked.  They told me that it was bad for me; that there would be nothing but trouble from that grass.  I heard them and looked at where I had come from and guess what?  The grass where I was just didn't look the same.  Because I trusted a few of the nay sayers I didn't eat the grass but I also didn't stop coveting it either.  Just because I couldn't have that grass, it made me see things that weren't true of the grass.  Not only was it just regular grass but it was sub-par to add.  I was blinded though, so I didn't take heed.  Well all the time I was courting this grass doing this coy, cat and mouse type dance I never bothered to sniff out more information. 

I don't remember the day it happened but one day I pondered over what the others had warned me of, bad grass.  Could it be that this grass that I just had to have was going to be an avoidable mistake?  I looked around and noticed that that patch of grass was indeed "greener" than the surrounding grass.  It seemed to confirm what I though all along.  I rejoiced in my decision to have this grass.  In my celebration, I stuck my nose deep in the grass hoping to become intoxicated on the sweet aroma of it...and what did I find?  The offensive stintch of SHIT! 

Moral of the story: The grass may be greener but also full of shit.